Long Term Relationship

This topic contains 17 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Mr.Children 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #4357

    Empire
    Participant

    Lets hear it guys and ladies.  I’ve been in a long term for about 3 years now and the first year was a bit rocky but at a certain time, we’ve come complacent.  This is the woman I want to be with the rest of my life and if your religion has it’s beliefs, we’ve been together many lifetimes before.

    Do you have a line to draw in which you wouldn’t do something for?

    What makes it last?

    How does it work?

    We all love happy endings.

  • #4358

    Mr.Children
    Participant

    I believe most long term relationships last long because most people pretend a lot at the beginning. Guy pretends to have money, girl pretends to not be a slut, etc. By the time the bad things start coming out, they already went all over facebook bragging about together forever and have countless travel pictures. It would be humiliating to break it off and all those years invested would officially be wasted. The lines you speak of, they become blurry when people spend so much time pretending. For example, a guy say he doesn’t want to get married…most women would not want to be with him from the get go. Yet most guys will not say that and pretend…and women will follow them for years and years…even though the guy never propose. Some guys will propose but they’re stuck in engagement land..and the guy keeps putting things off.

    For myself, I draw the lines early and I find that most women get eliminated early or they wouldn’t proceed further. Better to do that than years later, married with kids, and you’re not happy. I tell people that they have to accept me for now, as I grow, and when I fall. The problem I find with women especially is that they want to see a man grow. They don’t accept men as who they are, but what they want the man to be come. Buy a house, have a family, etc. Eventually, at least half of relationships break over money, because the guy can’t keep bringing it in.

    To answer your question, a woman has to accept me as who I am right now forever….not fall in love with the man that she expects me to become. To answer your question, to make a relationship last, there is a lot of politics you have to play. You have to pretend, and offer a lot of hope and change talk. You have to constantly feed the machine.

     

     

  • #4362

    Pleu
    Participant

    does breaking up then getting back together count?

    cuz the vast majority of couples out there take breaks, sleep around, then get back together serially but ultimately hate each others guts by the 4yr mark then repeat that vicious cycle with another; sometimes multiple at same time.

    gals will risk pregnancy & marriage even with a scrub cuz know their reproductive & freshness clock’s short, while guys will stay to avoid child support – and get away with having addictions & side chicks indefinitely, anyway.

    virtually 100% of the population are neither healthy nor wealthy to begin with so are just using the love then hate cycle however short/long each lasts, as a distraction from those shortcomings.

     

    • #4375

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      Do you know what’s the hardest thing to do in life? It’s to find somebody that will stick with you through long term, through all times. Men know that it’s extremely hard to get women to go out with them because women have thousands of men chasing them. Women know that most men are just trying to get into their pants and don’t care what’s in their head. So when people meet somebody that can stick with them…they stick with them….regardless of love. That is why couples break up and end back together again. Instead of embracing that they broke up for a reason, they repeat the cycle.

      Our society like to think that people in long term relationships have more experience, but like I said..a person who been in a relationship 20 years and divorce is no smarter than a person who realized that a person is not good to be with by the 3rd date. Most people develop long term relationships based on pretending, lies, desperation, comfort, laziness, etc.

      If you want the easy answer, do above. If you want something real, you have to learn from somebody that does the opposite. People who accept each other for who they are, not for what they expect them to become. Unfortunately, not many people that I know of. Most guys are with the woman that was foolish enough to go for him, after mass emailing/swiping many women. Most women are with men for benefits, mainly financial. Rare to meet a woman that will love a man whether there was no children or not…most women expect children to lock him in and get some financial benefit from him, the state, or the children in the future. Rare for a woman to meet a man that will support her when she makes more money and becomes more educated.

  • #4458

    LaLa
    Participant

    I feel like my relationship has gone this far Bc ive been genuine since the beginning. I told him exactly what he was getting into if he wanted a relationship with me and I told him exactly what I expected back in return which was mainly just his honestly, respect, and loyalty.

    I told him I didn’t not have time for games and that I’m not scared to cut him off if needed. Also, if he’s looking for a fling or a short term commitment, then I suggested for him to look elsewhere and that we could remain as friends.

    Pretty simple and straight forward, but even the most simplest thing can be difficult for some people.

    • #4465

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      I agree with your approach…but the problem is that most women’s words don’t match what they do. Women are more emotional and speak with emotion, rather than logic. They may mean it at the moment..but only at that moment until their emotions change..which is all the time. This is why guys don’t listen to women…just nod “yup, yes,”. It’s true that guys lie all the time, but that’s only in reflection of women.

      The other thing I notice is that when women say they don’t have time for games, it means those women have baggage or history. It’s means “I have a history and baggage…can you deal with it?”, “I played the game and I’m done playing”.

    • #4470

      LaLa
      Participant

      When women say they don’t have time for games, it means they have a baggage or history? what if they’re just speaking from what they learned from observing other people? You don’t really need to have experiences to know what you want.

    • #4488

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      Because that’s how women with baggage talk. When a woman say things like “I don’t got time for games” or “I don’t got time for drama”…it means she retiring from it. It’s like if a woman said “I don’t want to date a construction worker”….just her mentioning that conveys that she had a history with construction workers.

      The girls who don’t have drama usually make a judgement from the beginning. They look at a guy and quickly determine if he’s a player, does he look like a loser, is he education/career oriented, etc. If he doesn’t fit, she wouldn’t bother with him. These girls are much quicker. The girls with drama has to explain to the guy with drama that she’s not looking for drama….but she’s already halfway into his pants just by talking to him.

    • #4559

      LaLa
      Participant

       It’s like if a woman said “I don’t want to date a construction worker”….just her mentioning that conveys that she had a history with construction workers.

      What a slut you are, mr.children! I remember you stated something about how you don’t date certain types of women. You had a long list!!!! I guess it conveys that you had a history with them all! woah!!!!

      • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by  LaLa.
    • #4576

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      Men and women are different..they think differently. When men list what they don’t want in a woman, it’s a pretty honest and solid list. When women give a list of what they don’t want, it’s really a list of her past.

      If your son said “I don’t like fat chicks”….it’s mostly true. Most guys don’t waste their time with fat chicks to tell them that they don’t like fat chicks.

      If your daughter said “I don’t like thuggish guys”…..she probably does. Women literally go hang around guys that they’re not “interested in”..and end up in bed with them.

       

    • #4581

      LaLa
      Participant

      How would you know? You’re a woman?

    • #4588

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      I’m just basing on how people act.

      I use it myself to weed women out. When I hear women say things like they don’t want a guy with drama or don’t got time for games….it’s a clear sign that she had a lot of drama and games in her life…and a sign for me to run the other way. The girls with no drama, instead of saying that, will say that they’re studying for this, just finish school, got her first job, etc.  They would say something more positive because they are coming from positivity. And again, they would just avoid the wrong guys without saying anything. They rarely put themselves in conversations with guys to say they don’t want drama or games. That’s kinda like how women pretend to be hard to get and pretend to not be interested, yet still standing there talking to the guy looking all stupid.

    • #4751

      LaLa
      Participant

      Why do you always try to make everything into a debate/argument? And than go on a rampage over it? Just chill. Respect that people have different opinions and views.

    • #4752

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      Well, like I said, when women say she doesn’t want drama or games…it’s most likely she’s been through drama and games. You can say it’s opinion….but it happens all the time. You say i’m going on a rampage, but i’m just telling my male friends to watch out. I’m just telling them what to what for and what you’re more likely getting into to. Of course, many women would get mad at me because guys like me making it harder for many women in the dating world.

    • #4764

      LaLa
      Participant

      “It happens all the time” Like I said, you only see what you want to see. And now, you’re saying you want your male friends to watch out. I thought on some other posts, you were saying that you don’t have any friends because they get jealous of you? And now, you want to watch out and be a cock-blocker? lol. Guys like you make it harder for women in the dating world? LOL!! If anything, I think women has an easier hand when it comes to the dating world vs men. Okay, I feel like I am spilling all over the topics here by responding to you.  Your mind is all over the place, mister children! Gotta stick to the topic!

    • #4791

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      I don’t want most guys and people in general to screw up their lives. Nothing wrong with giving people advice and telling them to watch out.

      Yes, a lot of guys will hate on you if you look good or have more money…haters gonna hate…but that doesn’t mean everybody hate me or I get hated on all the time.

      Being a c*ckblocker is trying to prevent a guy from getting with a woman out of jealousy or whatever. If a guy want to get with a ho, I don’t care..go for it….I just do my part in telling him how she is. All through my life, I avoid a lot of trouble because a lot of guys tell me i should avoid a girl….and I do the same.

      Women have it easier in the dating world in attracting men, but they have a hard time finding GOOD men! Most of the men women attract are all over the internet sending hundreds of messages to women and sleep with random women and hookers.  That’s why it’s easy because most of these guys go for anybody.

      It’s easy for men to find a good woman because the average woman is not sending out messages to hundreds of men, trying to sck every dck in sight.

  • #4589

    smokeybandit
    Participant

    3 years is pretty good. I have never passed the one year mark with my relationships. I’m in an LDR since 2010 though, trying to save up to marry next year. She had suggested we get married a few years back but i was still trying to sort out my life.

    you probably know more than i do, but best advice i can offer is learn how to compromise and meet half way. u won’t always see eye to eye but meeting halfway usually makes things work.

    • #4598

      Mr.Children
      Participant

      Relationships are all about negotiations and deal making. Just like most deals….one side is usually not getting the best deal, but settle for it. When things don’t work out, it’s because the deal fell through. Right now, people make it about love, but most of the time, and since forever, it was never about love. It was always about resources.

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